ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Thanks, ED, .... really appreciate it.

Something I know is uncomfortable to talk about..., but that I STRONGLY urge people to look into.... Funeral - Life Insurance Policy. Let's just say we've tried to be as frugal as respectfully possible... And with many of the newer laws, etc... And WAY worse ones coming soon(as I just found out).. it's already nearing a cool 10 SPOT! .... NOT complaining... it's useless and not appropriate anyhow, haha.. Just is what it is, ..but it's concerning, trust me.. I can't help that that's the truth of things, ya know?

To be honest.... I can't wait til this is over... BUT, I'm really hopeful that it will give my mom some comfort and a peace in the sure to come 'emotional storm' and not knowing what to do with herself, etc., ya know? She'll be surprised by many things.. And, honestly.... this would have killed her, doing even 1/5th of the stuff that's required. It's all on me, and I don't mind... I just had NO CLUE what I was in for.... That's all I'm trying to relay to y'all, ya know? haha.

I'll be back soon with updates, mod's, and projects moving forward. My life is about to change, dramatically, after Friday. I'm a bit numb... but very excited. Poor Ervin even would say, recently, when he was able to speak.. "I'm sorry I make so much work for you"... Very unlike him to be outwardly/verbally thankful... But, he did so A LOT, especially in the last few months. I would mess with him and say, "Ahhhh, c'monnnnnn, you know you're doing it on purpose... I heard you talkin to some people"... he'd look puzzled for a minute and then laugh, "haha.. oh, I get it". As mean as he could be... I did my best to NEVER make him feel bad or allow him to be humiliated, ya know? Some of the things I've seen, regarding neglect and down right abuse of elderly people in the last few months??... It makes me want to become the Proverbial "Punisher" of the Elderly Abusive! ha... All dressed in my skull shirt, tons of ammo and weapons... Traveling the land, looking for SCUM like that! Then, of course, I'd have to think of creative ways to do away with them.... You know, like a giant rock polisher? hahaha... hey, that's pretty creative, right? lol.

Ok guys... I'll be in and out,... but just wanted to say thanks, again.. (and urge people to PLEASE plan ahead, ... or at LEAST TALK TO each other about it.. .and do some research... heck, even walk in to the places.. They're NOT dismal people... They're just human beings, doing a NECESSARY service, ya know?)

HighLux

Chef,

Just saw this. Very sorry for your loss brother. You are a very kind and special person. I enjoy your posts and hope your moms is doing ok.

I wish there was something I could do other than offer a few kind words.

Dave

habanero

Chef,
You're giving your mom a very special gift and therefore your stepfather in the way you are taking care of her. I've done it for my Dad when Mom died and the relief he expressed later on made me know just how important it was to him. Cardboard and duct tape Viking funeral, how cool is that? Celebrate well in honor of a good life. Best wishes to you and yours once again.

Terrys87

iTrader: (1)

I probably misworded my post. Fingers dont type what is on my mind. Knew it was your step dad that passed. Your right about the final planning that is rough for the ones left behind. To the Funeral Homes, it seems like it is just business to them. I was shocked at my grandfathers passing. A friend of mine lost his son and he said the same thing. There is no waiting until after the grieving process. Luckily my parents have already taken care of their final expenses for us when that time comes, but you brought up a good point that probably most dont know.

Having a will and everything worked out helps alot and still with the laws things can be a pain.

Things will eventually settle down for you, but try to get your mom active in life again, if she was married to him for several decades, she really wont remember how to function being single again. It will be a whole new learning thing to her. A broken heart can literally get her. I know you are going thru some tough times and hopefully it will pass soon for you.

truckman1966

Chef, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Its kinda odd I havent been on here in months and I had an urge to check your thread for some reason. Be happy he's not suffering anymore. Hope all is on the mend for you and your mom.

ksti

Mark,

Sorry to hear about your Stepfather.
My thoughts are with you and your family at this grieving time. He is at peace now.

Terrys87

iTrader: (1)

Just checking in on you, hope things are settling down some for you.

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Thanks you guys, ... much gratitude, believe it I receive all the condolences and guidance with a grateful heart, honest

Far as me, ...I'm fine....emotionally. Literally? I'M SICK AS A DOG! .. OF COURSE, right? OH, yeah, and one more thing... Funeral is today at 2pm, right? IT'S POURING RAIN..... for an outside service hahaha... It's ok.... because actually, having an indoor and then also graveside service.... it's more work for everyone and they would also get more wet. Just feel bad for many of the elderly that will be there, ya know?

Outsane

Sorry to hear about your loss chef..

AssYriaNrocKer

Mark, I just read...sorry for your loss. Hope your hanging in there man.

-RONI-

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Hey Guys and Gals, ........

Again, thanks so much for all the kindness and sympathy, even empathy.... I appreciate it. It's difficult to suddenly have HALF of what you'd normally have to do, left to do, lol... BUT, honestly, I'm fine. I'm very grateful that he's not suffering any longer... And like I said, when they said, "You'll never walk much again", that was a big hit last year.. BUT, recently, when they said, "You'll never EAT much again"??? HOLY COW, I really feel he felt, at that point, "You know, I've seen and done enough... as I've suffered as well... No eating? That's the last straw".... Along with the stomach tube thing? Yeah, too much.

So, I did a video for after the party... I cleaned it up a lil since then... but haven't loaded that to Youtube... so this is all I have. I hope it honored him well, the whole day actually. I did my best, s'all you can do, right?

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Of course, .... now "IT" is not letting videos on the page for me, .... GRRRRRRRRR! One more try, lol.

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Man, I get so flustered by computer issues... And, well, I'm not inept with them.. I can do many more things each year with them... BUT, when they decide, simply, "nope, I dont' wanna!" lol... Yeah, that ticks me off.

Anyway, not sure why, but the video's wont post. It said something about copyright content on youtube... but I clicked acknowledge, etc. ... Even then, it'd said it wouldn't stop it from being posted... just that it might show commercials for that music at the end? Or on the side? Whatever, all I know is I DON'T SEE THE VIDEO! Do any of you see the video?

Maybe I can just post the link? ....

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

I also have a couple pics at the funeral.... It was a concern of my mom's, since Ervin wasn't the most 'social' butterfly', that not many would show up to honor his life..... She shared a couple times with people from Choir(she's retired for 5 years now) and from her old church, 20 years ago(where few had met him, but some had, and HUNDREDS adored my mother there).... So, along with family, and 10 from his immediate family or old street address, .... 30 more came to support my mother and say goodbye to Ervin... 50 people, all together, in the pouring rain! MAN that made my mom feel better, ya know? She made a beautiful speech, ... as did Ervin's daughter... I shared a few words, and the pastor was fantastic, very funny, keeping it from being gloomy.

At the end, before we left, he made a funny joke about the rain, how "Ervin LOVED the rain... and figured maybe he put in a word to make sure we could enjoy it as well, haha... Then, as he closed, he said, "Maybe it will ease up so we can get to the cars for the reception without getting soaked".... It stopped, right then and there, and THAT SECOND, I kid you not, this appeared.....





As you can see, many took pics.... as I did, from a few steps back while they were snapping some, lol.

A couple more, just respectful ones. My mom has the red scarf, laying the rose on the casket. Myself and 5 other pallbearers laid one of our gloves and kept the other... then laid a flower on the top of the glove(that's the white things on top of the casket, below the flowers, in the pic with my mom)....









************************************************** ***********

Thanks, again, so much everyone, for all the kind words, thoughts and even prayers! No, I was not a falling apart-mess... I was very relieved for him... But, sure, it was still difficult... So while this chapter closes in my journey(and the journey of everyone else who knew him or loved him).... It's the beginning, for at least a while, of a fairly difficult adjustment for my mother and, of course, his children and grandchildren. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers... She is, honestly, the kindest, most caring, generous, slow to anger, quick to bless, agape loving woman I've ever met. People often, of course, think that's just prejudice speaking... And, well, while that's obviously a portion for any loving son.... ANYONE who has gotten to know her after hearing my declaration about her.... They've all been in awe of her character and nature. It's just mind blowing that someone can be so compassionate, loving and understanding. She's one of those people you just 'NEED' to be around once in a while. I came up with a lil line, a bit back, to all that know her as "Grammie"..... If I know someone who knows her is struggling... I realize that she, also, could probably use that feeling of purpose(especially as her life became consumed with serving poor Ervin hand and foot, 18 hours a day, for a full couple years)... So I'd ask those who were struggling or just needing to feel loved, .... "Did you call or drop by to get your Vitamin "G" lately?", haha... The first time, they'd ask, of course, ..." Vitamin 'G'?".... "Yeah, A dose of Grammie will cure that all up!", lol. Not meaning to ramble, ... just wanted you to know... Prayers and well wishing for her is NEVER wasted.. She will ALWAYSSSSSS pay it forward!

Thanks again, Guys....

Your grateful friend and Yotatechie Brethren, lol.... Chef Mark

rworegon

Chef, nicely done. Hope your mother regains her energy quickly. Find ways to keep her active in things she enjoys. There will be good days and bad, but the good days will outnumber the tough ones in due time. Recharge yourself too.

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Hey RW! Thanks, man! Yeah, I'm recharging....... while recovering! haha... 2 Days before the funeral, My BIRTHDAY, lol... I developed Strep/Flu.... BAD Aches, etc. Well, ...... I beat it back within 24 hours, fairly well... And thennnnnnnnnn, hahah.... After standing in the rain for 4 hours, before and even after the Funeral... (left the gazebo for the elderly, ya know?).... IT NAILED ME FULL ON, that night! JUST NOW, I'm starting to come out of it... So, 72 hour 'buggeroo', I'm guessing? Not common for me... I've gone 4 years at a time without a cold, many times. BUT, all the stress in the last few years.... Just WOW! lol. Being overwhelmed can have FAR more impact on health than most think, ya know?

Cyberhorn The Dragon

happy belated birthing day mark

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Never felt appropriate, until now, to show much on my visit with mom to see my dad, in AZ(with sis and all her klan). My Granddaughter got a cold.... so my daughters both stayed with my grandkids to help each other out. (they're coming around Christmas for a couple days, or thereafter shortly)....

Got a couple pics while in AZ... but couldn't wheel... Obviously, we were about to lose my stepfather... so I stuck by Mum... But, also, my Pops wasn't doing very well, either.... So we just hung out at his house 90% of the time. My nephew REALLY was upset that we didn't get to go... but he's getting older(13), he was pretty understanding I told him, "HEY, c'mon now, ... you KNOW I love to wheel and especially with you, a newb!"..... And guess what? He's ALREADY shopping for a rig like mine. hahaha. He's 13 and has bartered his way to 12K$ in savings! ....kids today, right? hahaha. He wants one that the top comes off, etc.... a first Gen, ... so I'll be back on that to ask some of my AZ Yotatechie Brethren to help out on finding him one, ya know? lol....

Anyway, couple pics of her as she stands, now... Was parked in Pops 'Lake Havasu' Driveway......









MANNNNNNNNNN I would love to have my pop's garage!!! lol.... (but yes, I promise, I'm grateful to have one at all ) >>>>



Lil view from his Street....



And, well, some of you know he is not well... And on top of it, lost his favorite pup after 14 years of snugglin, etc., with the lil bugger, .. "Elvis".... So, my brother, Rob, decided to grab him a new one, a miniature ShihTzu Pup, "Teddy"......



Never know how long you'll have them with ya... And recently, that's been real evident all around me in my life... OFTEN, ....so My mom and I headed out there in my 87 4Runner to meet up with my Sister and her family of 6.... WOW was that a great time, in spite of all that was going on for my mom and me....



The fam(Part of it, minus me, taking the pic, lol)....

rworegon

Stress does wreak havoc on the immune system. I'm sure you have great foods and teas to get you healthy quickly. And, belated happy BD to you.

It's cool too that your parents are both comfortable to be around each other for a family event.

ChefYota4x4

iTrader: (5)

Brudda, I kid you know... He wept seeing my mom... He was SOOOOOOO worried about her over this past few years, with all she was taking on. It's partly why I stepped up my involvement... My family and I knew it was taking her out, quickly. She also LOVES my father, very much... She always regretted not working it out with my pops... And while they both moved on and were happy... They still love each other, VERY much. As I said about my mom... she's a GEM! Only a couple greedy people feel otherwise... and they're truly the biggest vultures that I've ever met. I'll leave it at that, aside from the honest truth... I DO NOT wish them any harm or hard times... I honestly hope for their hearts to change for their own sake. Even my stepmom, Susie, ADORES my mom... She was crying a lil bit when it looked like she might not make it to Susie and my Fathers house(I call her "Momma-Sue"... We're very close.... She's ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL to my Father!).

Far as foods and teas.... Indeed. I do lots of proteins and complex carbs, fruits(low sugar types like berries, cherries, grapefruit, etc.).... And I try to stay very hydrated and 'moving' as much as I can physically handle/within reason. I'm not an admired physical specimen.... BUT, I'm fairly healthy, considering all I've been through(near fatal accidents, multiple broken bones, pretty bad back injuries, amongst other things growing up that I'll spare ya, lol).... I have pretty decent endurance for my age(now 44) and considering the aforementioned drama that my body has gone through.... It just seems as though; When I sit still for days at a time, while sick... the sickness drags on, lol. When I keep moving/within reason, it never seems to last more than a couple/few days. I have NEVER ONCE had a flu shot... And NO WAY am I trying to tell people to avoid them. Just felt, for some reason, "NO", jumping out at me, every time I was asked. But it seems to have lessened my mother and fathers instances of the flu... And I HIGHLY recommend the Pneumonia shot for anyone over 60.... PLEASE, realize, .... that is one of the BIGGEST KILLERS of elderly people(Not saying 60 is elderly, by definition... oh crap, you all KWIMean! lol)...

Have a good'n, RW, Dragon! Wishin you guys the best!