In an attempt to change the gasket for my PCV I’m my valve cover I may have damaged the flame arrestor to the point where it might not be useable. Is there anywhere I can buy one I have looked all over the place but I am not sure of the actual name.

 

Those PCV valve grommets aren't really all that hard to get out. At the very worst, pull the valve cover, so you don't drop chunks of grommet, or of PCV valve, into the engine. Grab the PCV valve with a pair of pliers, and work it out. Don't worry about damaging the grommet, or the valve, just get it out. You'll probably trash it, but it's probably bad anyway. Then, grab the grommet with the pliers, or a pair of needlenose pliers, and get it out. You'll most likely destroy it, No big, they're inexpensive, even from the dealership.
Get a new Toyota grommet and PCV valve, slip them in, and away you go. If you can get that part you pulled out back in, so it doesn't interfere with anything, you're golden. Alternatively, go someplace like YotaYard.com. They part out Toyotas. I wager they have a replacement valve cover for cheap. Remember, new PCV valve, new grommet, new valve cover gasket set, again, cheap, about $20.00 or so, and away you go. Always try to get Toyota OEM parts. Don't go for an aftermarket cheapo. They don't design FOR Toyotas, just generally, and the way the PCV valve works, in an aftermarket cheapo, may not be the way the engine needs.
Last, but not least, check the hoses for the PCV system. There are two, the one on the valve, and the one up forward, to return air into the valve cover. They both shaped hoses, so you'll need to get the right ones, not just a length of general purpose hose you can cut to length. Again, pretty inexpensive, and readily available.

Good luck to you.
Pat☺